Nana.

20 years ago today Heaven's gates flung wide open as a true saint walked into paradise.  It is so hard to fathom that 20 years have passed since Heaven's gates opened for my Nana, but today marks the 20th anniversary of that day.  I still remember it so clearly as I stood on the top of my parent's staircase with my Mom at the bottom arms outstretched and she just simply whispered, "She didn't make it".  My Nana gave it a good fight and by the time she died she really wasn't the Nana that I held in my memory.  What follows are the things that I remember.

She was the warmest, loving woman.  She raised six children with four children being raised on her own after her husband passed.  She was positive, had an infectious laugh and loved to sing even though there were no offers beating down the door for her to perform.  I distinctly remember Nana and my Dad signing back and forth to one another from the upstairs to the downstairs - loudly in an operatic tone.  She would walk me to the end of the driveway in her nightgown to catch the bus and we would sing to the birds as we walked.  She was also at the end of that driveway when I came home.  I cannot begin to count the days that I got in trouble because I would sneak downstairs and sleep with her instead of alone in my room.  She was cuddly and always had extra room on her pillow.  I can even remember back to when I was in half-day Kindergarten and she would always have a snack for me waiting, generally some homemade goodness, and we would sit and watch game shows until the "big kids" came home.  Her cooking was divine, comforting, delicious just the kind of food that you would want at the end of the day.  There was not a person that walked in the door that did not like her and there was never a baby that passed her graces that did not get at least a smile and a wink if not a hug.  She loved kids and they loved her just alike.  My Mom and grandmother had the perfect friendship and I am so blessed to have that with my Mom today.  I only had 11 years with Nana but I feel like I had 100 and I truly wish I did.

And oh, oh how I would give anything in this world for my children to be able to cuddle with her.  Jump up in her fluffy lap and rub her ears.  She had the floppiest lobes on the planet and she would tolerate me rubbing them all the time.  I know they would adore each other and I also know that she walks with me daily.  Some days I can feel her, some days I think I see her but I know that every day she is present with me.  One day I will have her chicken and dumplings again and we will have a big old cup of coffee and something delicious for dessert maybe over a scrabble game or two.  Until then, I know that she is rocking those babies in Heaven with a smile on her face.  I know that she is with her 7 brothers and sisters that have gone before her, her husband and the many other relatives and friends that have gone before us. One day we will again share an embrace and I will flop her ears :)

I love you, Nana, and I hope that I have made you proud!