It's OK to not do it all.

I had sort of a meltdown weekend over Sarah's birthday.  Things at Goog were crazy with 900 deadlines on the same day, presentations going awry, client expectations were more than ridiculous, the house was a mess and we had people coming for the party the next day, the kiddos were screaming and I realized that Chad and I had not really spent any time together in over a week.  So I turned to the most comforting thing at the moment, Dove chocolate.  A little bit of heaven in one pretty little blue foil wrapper with a "promise" on the inside.  When I opened the chocolate and read the message it simply said, "It's OK to not do it all".  I am not saying that I make life decisions based on the inner writings of a candy wrapper but for some reason I needed to read this at this time.  I put it on the fridge and calmly went about the rest of Friday and Saturday.

When Sunday rolled around and everything was cleaned up, Chad and I sat down and looked at everything that was going on at the moment.  It was always my plan to leave Google when Chad went back to a firm and that had happened months ago.  He is now stable in his job, the kids are stable in preschool and the Lackey's just don't operate smoothly unless something is changing.  So, I decided that it was time to pull the plug on Google.  After over 8 years at a great company, I am branching out on my own.  Taking some time for my kids, my husband and perhaps myself.  I am excited about the change but I would lie if I said that I wasn't a little nervous at the same time.

Google has always been a constant in our married life and a security blanket is something that is hard to let go.  I am at peace in my mind and heart with the decision, but in an unstable economic environment and always the inevitable that comes up it is just plain hard to pull the plug.  And, I also put the weight of my team at Google on my shoulders and just have to wonder what stresses will the incur when the person who has been there the longest is not there anymore.  Those things are yet to unfold but the future looks bright for the Lackey's and I am excited to end this chapter and begin another one.